Respect is earned, then given. This well-known adage has appeared in nearly every book and self-help expert. Nonetheless, you may command respect without requesting it. The best illustration of this is Keanu Reeves.
He is referred to as “The Respectful King.” He is dubbed “The Greatest Guy Ever” by Business Insider. In addition to his deeds of compassion, he exudes chivalry. On social media, I haven’t seen a single person disparage him. From my awkward adolescence to my socially awkward upbringing to my current status as a (mostly) competent adult, I’ve come to the conclusion that not everyone is born with the capacity to demand respect.
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The good news is that we may adopt specific actions and demeanors to influence how people see us. I’ll offer seven unassuming qualities you can cultivate to win people’s true respect based on my personal experiences and research on the most respected individuals in the world (without asking for it).
1. Have the Audacity to Protect Your Boundaries
I first understood the value of limits while having supper at a friend’s place. the initial time. After eating, we stayed around the table conversing when the topic of a mutual acquaintance who had just gone through a difficult split came up. I wasn’t especially interested in the rumors about his split that the other buddy was sharing.
I refrained from speaking since I didn’t want to be impolite. As the talk went on, I soon stopped paying attention. When I first heard my name, I was deep in my own thoughts.
Each person at the table gave me an eager gaze. I then realized that they had been mentioning me and watching for my response. Then I understood why I had shied away from asserting myself and drawing boundaries.
The conversation would have gone on and no one would have judged me less if I had stated that I wasn’t interested in gossip. Instead, by being mute, I gave the impression that I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. That was an insightful lesson on the value of establishing limits. And since, I’ve been careful to remember that.
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2. Value the Most Scarce Resource
My lecturer and I were supposed to meet to talk about a research paper. He was on the phone when I got to his office. He made a sign for me to enter and seat down rather than asking me to wait.
I waited till he ended his call for a while, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. I’m sorry about that, he added as he turned to face me after hanging up the phone. What can I do for you right now? I understood then that he respected my time just as much as his own.
He simply might have told me to wait outside or return later. Instead, he gave me respectful and thoughtful treatment. I decided then and there that I would always appreciate other people’s time. And I’ve discovered that when I did, people actually respected and loved me for it.
Little gestures of care, such as holding the door open for someone or allowing someone to cut in front of you in line, may have a significant impact on how others view you. According to Sunday Adelaja, who wrote “How To Become Great Through Time Conversion,”
3. Raise the Quality of Conversation With This Simple Trick
I was with Joe at a gathering. I was standing outside of the group, listening in and sipping apple juice, when he started talking to a group of individuals. Yet each time I felt the talk was heading towards dullness, Joe would divert it with his wit and wisdom.
I genuinely respected him because of his sincere interest in the topic. I didn’t know him all that well, but I could tell he was one of those uncommon individuals who were really curious about the world and interested in getting to know other people.
Joe showed me that showing interest and curiosity in others may earn their respect, even if you don’t know them well. And ever since, I’ve made an effort to follow his lead. In his book “Difficult Conversations: How To Explain What Matters Most,” Douglas Stone states the following.
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4. “Always” Do the Right Thing
Tim and I were teammates on a university assignment. As a midterm evaluation, we had to present the class with our results. Tim didn’t help much because I performed most of the work. Tim stood there and nodded along while I spoke the entire presentation when it was our turn.
I observed Tim didn’t say much throughout the lecture, one of our classmates commented during the time for questions. When not? Tim recognized there was no purpose in saving him, and I was going to invent an explanation.
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In order to be honest with her, he said, “I did nothing for the project. I didn’t believe it was fair for Darshak to support me throughout the presentation when he done all the effort. That’s incredibly honorable of you, the professor murmured as he regarded him with admiration. You have my respect for being sincere.
He received a C overall, but I truly respected him for admitting his error in front of 120 or so kids. A guaranteed method to gain the respect of people is to always choose the proper course of action, even when it’s challenging.
5. Acknowledge Even if You Don’t Agree
A devoted supporter of the opposing football team is my neighbor. He comes over to slap it in my face every time my team loses. I used to be enraged with him. But I soon saw that acting defensively simply made me appear unprofessional.
So now, whenever he comes over to brag, I calmly explain why I still believe in my team after listening to what he has to say. He was first surprised by my response, but he now appreciates me for it.
And even though we will never agree on whose team is superior, we have grown friendly rivals based on respect for one another. Also, he has ceased coming over to celebrate defeats. In reality, those who can maintain composure and decorum in the face of conflict are frequently respected.
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6. Adopt an Air of Confidence — Even if You Don’t Feel It
I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself. As I’m an introvert, I usually keep to myself in social settings. But I’ve discovered that even if you don’t feel confident, people will respect you more if you appear confident.
It’s not a case of pretending to succeed until you do. It involves being aware of the importance of body language and utilizing it to your advantage. This is why: Keep your back straight, look them in the eyes, and talk properly. Even if you don’t feel confident, they are the three things that will make you appear confident to others.